tell me no lies

Arrrrgggghhhh. For the third time in her life, Elizabeth is grounded. For what? Lying to me about where her toothpaste was this morning. Sounds absurd, huh? But there it is. Her sisters wanted to borrow her toothpaste - since theirs was empty, and she hid it from them. More specifically, she hid it in her sister's room, in a basket that Kate keeps her softball gear in. I discovered all this after the twins came to me and said Elizabeth wouldn't share her toothpaste. I asked her to do so, and back came the twins minutes later to tell me that now the toothpaste was apparently missing. Upon questioning Elizabeth - and let me tell you I was very clear that I was very unhappy to be dealing with this - she denied knowledge of said toothpaste's whereabouts. Repeatedly. Finally, after I threatened her with a spanking - which I have not had to administer to her more times than you can count on one hand in her entire life - she came clean and retrieved the toothpaste from the basket.

I hate lying. Almost everything that really really upsets me/pisses me off/angers me hugely has something to do with lying. It completely destroys my ability to trust. And I am by nature a trusting soul. I have a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt. It's my positive glass half full mindset. Which I guess is why it upsets me so much when I am lied to. The other thing that really sets me off is related to respect, and the lack of it that is shown in so many situations. Of which I believe lying is one.

Anyway, she is grounded for a month. No playdates, no birthday parties, no TV, no video games. She is only allowed to leave her room to use the bathroom, to eat, or do chores. I plan to have her picking up a lot of dog poop just to make sure she doesn't feel I am denying her opportunities for fresh air.

Am I over reacting? I don't think so. I know it was just toothpaste, but it might as well have been a hundred dollars as far as I'm concerned. I will not tolerate lies, and everyone in this house needs to understand that. Everyone.

So I guess I have a personal slave for the next month, which sounds not so bad except that I feel so shitty about the whole thing...damn, sometimes it really sucks to be consistent and follow through...

ups and downs

I guess I am so surrounded by my girls that I tend to assume that moodiness is a female specific trait sometimes. Then Mike comes home after a not so great day, and I have to remind myself that grumbling, drama and negativity are definitely not just for women. In fact, sometimes he is the worst of all of us, when it comes to being in a crappy mood. When he's down, he's really down, and then it generally manifests into anger. Anger at what someone on the tv says, anger at the new dog who unfortunately for Mike happens to be afraid of men, anger at my inability to respond to his mood in a way that pleases him. Once he gets on a roll, it's hard to stop the ride. If I can't bring him down, which I often can't because my own mood is one of exasperation, and generally just being really annoyed that he is being a shit, then it escalates into a rant of some kind, which I then just have to walk away from.
Okay, so we are all moody from time to time. And that in itself is not necessarily a terrible thing. Life is about balance, right? You need some downs now and then to appreciate the ups. The trick, to me, is to figure out when and how to pull out of a "down" mood, and get back to an "up". There's a great line in a great song by Gotye that goes like this,

"You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness."

I think that sums it up perfectly. We all have our sad moments, but some of us have sad hours, even sad days, or worse. I think I live with at least two people who struggle with an overabundance of sadness, and I wonder, are they happiest when they're unhappy? Sometimes it seems that way. It almost seems like they fear happiness, like it's too good to be true and it's sure to end at any moment, so why get too attached to it?

Ugh. Sometimes it's overwhelming. I am not always a happy person by any means, I get bitchy and cranky and tired, especially at the end of the day, just like lots of people. But I do feel that I am the glass half full person in my marriage. And I would say that two of my daughters are like me in that respect. The third, well, she was just one of those people born with a thundercloud over her head. Her father is the same, although it took me a long time to realize that. I suppose we all need each other, or we upbeat types would just be happy all the time...hmmm. That last sentence smacks of desperate rationalization. A classic comment from a classic "look on the bright side" person.

Oh well. Onwards and upwards.