Thursday, June 16, 2011

put me in coach

Well, the soccer experiment has not really played out, so to speak. Back at the beginning of the spring soccer season, I registered a keen Kate, and dragged a kicking and screaming Emily off to their first practice. With one game left a couple of months later, the situation has completely reversed itself; Kate no longer wants anything to do with soccer, and Emily thinks it's the greatest game on Earth. It's not that Kate isn't athletically inclined - she is, but she thinks too much about what she should be doing, and ends up psyching herself out and blowing it. Whereas Emily - as usual - lives in the moment and throws herself with utter abandon into the game, and ends up doing well. Sigh. While it's great fun to watch Emily turn into quite the little soccer player, it's been equally if not more painful to watch Kate retreat further and further away from the game. Every week she cries before she has to go to practice, and every Saturday night she starts to stress because there is a game the next morning. Oh, and just in case I wasn't aware of how my children feel about soccer or how well they have been performing, their coach made it very clear at practice last week. He made his way over to me just before they finished for the evening to ask if Emily was going to be playing winter soccer this coming season. I answered that she was and he smiled and said "oh that's good, she should play, she is very good." Then before I could reply he went on "oh but Kate, she shouldn't play, she can't play soccer." Well. Seeing as how there were other parents present, not to mention several children, I swallowed hard, smiled and said something like, well, that's fine since Kate actually doesn't want to play any more. And I left it at that. But of course, what I wanted to say and swallowed until I have opportunity for either a private conversation or a formal coach evaluation is that perhaps if her coach had been more encouraging, she might have enjoyed the game more. They are seven years old, for goodness sake. However, I did not want to make a big issue out of it for Kate's sake. Which became even tougher for me at the game that Sunday when after almost 20 minutes of play, Kate was still standing on the sidelines, waiting a turn on the field, a turn that every other child had been given. Again, I didn't want to embarrass her by drawing any unwanted attention to her, but when the coach was about to sub in another child who had already had lots of playing time instead of Kate, I had to do something. So I started waving my arms frantically from where I was watching behind her, and pointing at her head to get the coaches attention. Apparently he got the message, and sent Kate in instead, and then looked back at me and said, oh sorry, I must have missed her by accident...and cue the swallowing of harsh words and tongue biting again.
So anyway, one practice and one game left and then she can retire forever if she wants to. I have officially registered both her sisters for the winter soccer season, but not Kate. We are going to find her an activity of her own, one where she doesn't have to compare herself to her sisters at any rate. While I don't want the other girls to think she is getting some kind of special treatment or whatever, I think in the long run it will be a relief for everyone, and hopefully make up for the stress we have all had to endure from Kate for the past couple of months as she suffered through spring soccer. I don't care what she does really, or whether she is actually any good at it or not, it would just be great to find something that she likes to do, that makes her happy and brings some joy to her worried little face.
Anyone need a barely - and I mean barely! - used pair of kids size 13 soccer shoes?

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