Gossip girls

What's up with girls and gossip? Why do we all love it so much? Even the most righteous of women out there cannot deny that they love to hear some juicy intimate detail about someone else's life. Even if you don't pass judgement on it, even if you go on to condemn those who are doing the gossiping, you cannot deny that you still listened in the first place. And that some part of you thought, oh how interesting, or compared your life to the person being gossiped about. And it starts so early. For example, yesterday after school the kids all came running out to announce that the new girls had started in class that day. Girls from three different grades were all chattering to each other and to us mothers in great detail about two sisters who were new to the school, giving us info on everything from what colour their hair is, how long it is, what kind of glasses they wore, what kind of backpacks they had and so on. Then the juicy stuff came out. "oh, and by the way, the older sister is a BULLY!" my older daughter announced in a hushed voice. And all the other little girls nodded their heads that apparently this was so. Good grief. Of course, I had to tackle that one, and asked how they could possibly think that when the girl in question had just started school and how well could they really know her at this point? Elizabeth didn't hesitate to take me on. "Because we heard that she was kicking and hitting at lunch." She thought she had me there. "Did you see this kicking and hitting?" I asked. "No, but so and so told us it happened." "Well, I think first of all you'd better remember that not everything you hear is always exactly true. Plus, don't forget this is her first day at a new school and maybe she is feeling nervous and lonely. I think you need to give her more time before you make up your mind about her", I suggested. They all said okay, but I could see that it wouldn't take much to sway them back again. Girls. It's one of those things that we just don't grow out of. It's like the X chromosome carries an I'm-a-big-meanie gene. Maybe the Y chromosome has something to counteract it, and that is why men in general fight in a more straightforward fashion. As in throw a couple punches and then go for beers. Meanwhile as females, we have not just one X but two, which when combined forms the Gossip Girl factor. I don't know. I know it's not right to gossip, especially in an unkind way. But I can't deny that I still listen in when anyone is sharing. Maybe that's all it is. In that moment, I am part of the group, I am safe, I am NOT the one being gossiped about. It's almost primal really, just not wanting to be outcast from the pack. But regardless, I will have to challenge my daughters to question gossip. Whether it's true, and whether it even matters. And also what harm it may cause another person if they join in perpetuating the gossip. Because it could be them next. And how would they feel then?