Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I have nothing to wear...

An update from yesterday. I was wondering if the sunny weather has any effect on our moods, since I had noticed that my girls and myself all seemed to be feeling pretty sunny ourselves the past couple of days. It is a beautiful clear day again, but this morning we seemed to be regressing back to less sunny behavior. Emily did not want to get out of bed, and dragged herself through the motions of getting ready for school. In all fairness to her, she is my child who just likes her sleep, but generally once you get her up and going she is a pretty happy child. However, even with the sun bouncing off the mountains and the sky a pretty pink colour Emily was on the verge of the grumps all morning. Hmmm. And Kate, well, she fell back on her old standby of I don't know what to wear. It doesn't matter if she picks her clothes out ahead of time, if the mood strikes her, she will declare that she has nothing to wear - usually it's pants. I tend to give her little to no attention regarding this particular issue. Once I have confirmed that she does indeed have plenty of clean clothes, I usually just explain that she has lots to wear, and if she continues with the issue, that I will make her a uniform to wear every day so she no longer has to go through this agony of indecision.
Since she makes it to school every day, obviously she eventually pulls it together and gets dressed.

So now that the sunshine making us happy theory seems to be fading, my new question is this.
Why does my 7 year old daughter care so much about what she wears to school? Is it merely a matter of physical comfort? She does suffer from eczema from time to time, so I could understand that to a point. But often her dilemma seems totally irrational to me, in fact much more reminiscent of a teenage girls drama over what to wear than a 7 year old. Is it possible then that she is worrying about how she looks, and if so, why? Great line from a Van Morrison song "Wild Nights" comes to mind - "all the girls go by, dressed up for each other". It's so true. From a way too young age apparently, many of us dress not for ourselves, but for others, to achieve a "look" that will be approved of by whichever desirable group we are hoping to please. Why do girls do that? Do boys do that? I have always tried to be very hands off with my girls and their outfits. My oldest daughter Elizabeth wanted to pick out her own outfits from about the age of 3 or 4 as I recall, but still wanted me to help her dress. With two 2 year olds also needing my help, I made Elizabeth a deal - she could wear whatever she liked, as long as it was clean and weather appropriate. Within a year or so her sisters followed suit (so to speak, ha) and that's the way it's been ever since. I am guessing that now that we are venturing towards the preteen years with Elizabeth, that I may have to become somewhat more hands on again, to provide some guidance in dressing age appropriately, or in other words, not dressing like a hussy. It would be a lot easier if I could figure out a way to instill in her the desire to just NOT dress like a hussy, or a hooker or whatever the latest pop star looks like at that time.
Any words of wisdom, advice, anyone? Obviously, it's up to me to buy her appropriate clothing, but that still doesn't have anything to do with influencing her DESIRE for nasty outfits. Or her sisters' either for that matter. I know it may seem like a ways off, but this project, this blog, is all about finding ways to head these things off at the pass, to make life down the road easier for all of us.

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