spring breakdown week 2

Oh the rain, the rain. After an amazing weekend away, we are back to reality with a bullet. Spent Monday catching up on tons of laundry and actually had the girls help me tidy up the house - okay, I told them they'd get allowance if they helped, I have no problem resorting to bribery. Then when tempers seemed to be teetering, I took the girls out to pick up some craft stuff at the dollar store. Which turned out to be a really good thing, because the next day it was raining again, and I had to pull out all the rainy day stops to keep 6 little girls entertained till dinner time. A last minute change of plans meant I had my two nieces for the day, plus I had agreed to take care of another little girl from school for the day also, so we had a houseful. After breakfast, they got busy making wooden spoon puppets, and pet rocks, painting, gluing etc. Meanwhile I was in the kitchen attempting to make rice krispie squares - I don't know why but I always seem to find myself wrestling with an out of control blob of hot marshmallow and butter, while rice krispies spill all over the place. I assume it's supposed to be easier to make those things, but I find it fairly challenging. My rainy day activity I guess! Then I also always feel the need to jazz them up somehow - plain rice krispie squares seem very boring to me, so I usually end up experimenting with melted chocolate chips, or peanut butter, or both....it doesn't always work out, but today it was pretty darn good. So crafts accomplished, snack time. Then the rain stopped so I kicked them all outside to play for a while. That was entertaining for me anyway - after attempting to play golf, a frisbee game got underway making use of the lid off of an old coffee can. Wasn't long before that ended up over the fence in the neighbors yard. Elizabeth attempted to peek through the fence to locate the lid, noticed a loose fence board which she then took a whack at with her golf club and then all the surrounding fence boards proceeded to fall off the fence on top of her. I was the only one who apparently noticed as she looked around wildly for a little help, everyone else had wandered off to some other part of the yard. Elizabeth managed to extricate herself (good thing, I was too busy laughing to be of much use) and then she looked up at me and asked if she could just go get the frisbee since there was a big hole in the fence now....meanwhile Kate and our extra little girl arrived back inside looking for something else to do. I put a puzzle in front of them, and they got busy - they are both very shy with new people, so they managed to do the entire puzzle through the use of charades and sign language, not speaking any actual words to each other. Then the other kids arrived looking for more entertainment, so I put a container of chalk in their hands and sent them off to draw on the deck. Many hopscotch games later, they all made it back inside for more food. Then I got out the boardgames, and the Wii and the rest of the afternoon was spent taking turns with various games of checkers, trouble, sorry, mastermind and some video bowling and sword fighting. The finale of the day was an extremely long and rambling puppet show put on for me using of course all the wooden spoon puppets from the morning plus various other toys. Everyone's parents eventually arrived, and I retired to finish making dinner, feeling like I made it out alive, another day successfully survived. However, I am a little concerned, since I have seem to have used up all my rainy day tricks in one day, what will I do for the rest of the week??? Stay tuned.

spring fling

And then something amazing happened - we got a break from spring break, so to speak. Thursday evening my in laws volunteered to take the girls for the weekend, and after some quick work on the internet, Mike and I were all set to book off to the island for a couple days of adult R and R. How lucky are we???? The girls got to go shopping for clothes, hang out downtown in Stanley Park, and get their nails done, and we got to...well, you know! And so week 2 begins....

more to follow

Onwards. So last Wednesday and Thursday I had my 2 nieces for the day. What to do to keep 5 little girls happy and entertained for 7 hours? Thank god the sun finally came out. We had lunch and then loaded everybody up into the trusty van and drove about half an hour to Redwood Park, a very cool spot that was started up by two brothers many years ago. They planted several different species of trees from around the world, and today of course they are all very tall and very impressive...there is a giant redwood grove, tons of trails all over the place, meadows full of dragonflies, a giant treehouse, and a great playground. The sun shone, it was warm enough for the kids to run around in their t-shirts and all in all it was a perfect afternoon, other than Kate getting stuck in a prickle bush and getting a thorn stuck in her finger, which of course she wouldn't let me pull out, choosing instead to wander around whimpering and suffering, until I couldn't take it any longer and after coaxing her into my lap, I held her down and yanked out the thorn while she screamed and all the other parents looked on with interest and delight - yes, I had indeed earned the honor of meanest mom on the playground, ah well. At least Kate recovered quickly, and went on to play with the other kids until it was time to head home. And yes, another good day was done. Thursday Mr. Sun was more or less still around, so once again I packed up all the girls and drove about half an hour to Centennial beach. They have a massive playground out there which the kids enjoyed for a while, and then they put on the rain boots and went to play in the sand - the tide was way out, so they had a great time digging and collecting shells etc. I actually got to sit on a log and read my book for while....!!! Now that's a good day. Eventually they were all in various stages of wet and sandy, plus Elizabeth had cut her finger open on a shell plus hunger was setting in so we headed back home before anyone could have a complete meltdown. Had barely arrived and my sister in law showed up to pick up her girls - and yes, yet another successful spring break day achieved. I am on a roll....

spring break catch up

Okay, so I'm a little behind on the spring break diary. I blame it completely on the fact that on Thursday evening the opportunity to go away for a couple days with my husband came up, and we grabbed it, hopped a ferry to Vancouver Island and just got back last night...meanwhile, back to reality.
So since I am now way behind, I will summarize spring break to this point. When I last left you, we had spend a lovely day out in Steveston eating oysters etc. The following day was supposed to be sunny, but the weatherman was playing a cruel trick and it was in fact pouring rain. While trying to figure out what to do to keep everyone entertained a friend emailed with an invite to play, so off we went. Spent the afternoon at her house, eating popcorn and attempting adult conversation while 5 little girls rampaged through the house. Most excellent, thank you Michelle! Another day checked off the calendar. Tuesday the weatherman was still insisting it was sunny while outside the rain continued...Kate suggested I google things to do on a rainy day - what a great idea - so I did, and within a few minutes we were getting organized to head downtown for an afternoon at the Vancouver Art Gallery. Their website said they were hosting spring break activities all afternoon each day for kids, and best of all, their admission etc was free - my kind of scene! So we invited my mother in law to join us, and hopped the sky train for downtown. Which of course is an adventure all of it's own. Once at the gallery, we had a quick picnic in the lobby, then headed inside, where the girls were handed clipboards and sent off on a scavenger hunt. Not sure what non spring break down adults thought of this, but the kids sure had fun. We worked our way gradually up each floor of the gallery, until we reached the top floor where they had converted their outdoor patio into an enclosed space called "the making place". Great view of the downtown area while the kids got busy creating structures to add to the already very large cityscape that the gallery had requested the visiting kids help to build. Elizabeth contributed a fire hall with fire truck, Emily built a suspension bridge complete with boats and a whale underneath, and Kate constructed the largest tower in the city out of rolls of newspaper. I am definitely not the world's most crafty person - thank goodness my mother in law was there to lend a hand, as she definitely IS a very crafty person - but I had a great time helping the kids with their projects. Then across the street to get much needed coffees for me and grammy, and then a walk back to the sky train station. Along the way we were entertained by buskers, one in particular who was quite fascinating - he was dressed as a satyr and playing a bagpipe while dancing around quite madly on his cloven feet, tres cool I have to say. Anyway, made it home again on the train, Em got to sit in the "driver's seat" so to speak, looked like she was driving, which naturally she thought was great. And ta da, another successful day in the books.More to follow....

Spring Break day 2

So on to Sunday. I woke up dreaming of oysters and beer - I know, I know, I guess that does seem a bit odd, but there you have it. The day was decent out, curling was over, so I commandeered the day and suggested we head to Steveston for lunch. Steveston for those of you who don't know is a local fishing community about 20 minutes from where I live (which happens to be another local fishing community) However Steveston is at the mouth of river where it meets the ocean, and has a large marina, and is pretty funky little village with some pretty serious fishing heritage. The kids enjoy it, so do we, and of course my hidden agenda is all about oysters and beer....it must be one of the first dry Sundays this year, and the cherry blossoms are out, and everyone is thinking come on spring, and so as we arrive, I can see that a lot of other people had the same idea as us, and it's going to be a busy little place in no time. I was hoping for a walk first, check out the docks, etc, but changed gears and we headed to my favorite watering hole by the marina, Shady Island. Just in time too, within minutes of arriving and being seated, both the front and back entrances were crowded with people wanting in too. The kids ate two orders of "the best chicken strips EVER!" as they called them - and they are good, none of that prepackaged crap, good old real big chunks of juicy chicken lovingly battered in their homemade italian seasoning, served up with grainy dijon mustard and home made fries. And of course Mike and I had a dozen raw oysters on the half shell, washed down with a caesar - which is a drink by the way, very Canadian, similar to a Bloody Mary, except that instead of tomato juice, it's made with Clamato juice, a patented beverage made up of tomato juice, spices and clam juice - and then yes, I had my beer, along with a big bowl of their clam chowder, ahhhhh. Now that I had my seafood etc cravings satisfied, we bundled back up and went for a walk on the docks, where the local fisherman are moored and have their latest catch displayed for sale. Plenty of shrimp and prawns, salmon too, and some tuna, some flounder, among a few other things. We didn't pick up anything today, as we still have quite a bit of fish in our freezer at home - we usually buy off the fisherman at our local dock from time to time. But always fun to look. A bit more walking about and then eventually home again. For once Sunday evening felt a bit luxurious, since I didn't have to hustle around gathering backpacks, making lunches for the next day, checking to see if there was any homework left undone, stuff like that. Instead, I settled back to watch the series finale of one of my favorite TV shows, Big Love, while the kids watched a movie downstairs. Oh yes, I didn't mention that I had rented a whack of movies to help tide us over this week. They wanted to have a "sleepover" in the basement, which never bodes well, since you know who can't usually sleep in her own bed, let alone on the pull out downstairs but what the hell. So they give a shot, and eventually I went and lay down beside Kate until she fell asleep - a matter of minutes - and so ends day 2.

spring break day 1

and yes we're off. I am going to attempt to keep up with this on a daily basis, or at least play catch like I am now, so that I can track our spring break progress. Two weeks is a loooonnnggg time to keep the peace around here with no school to structure our days.

So....day 1 was Saturday. My husband was off to play in his curling club's men's semi final game - end of the season already. It was wet out, but not actively raining hard, so after everyone was fed and watered, we harnessed up the dog and the girls and I took off for a walk around the neighborhood to blow off some it's spring break so what are we going to do today steam. Got home an hour later and one pair of pants the worse for wear (Kate tripped over a rock and landed on her knees in some mud), we took off to watch the rest of Dad's game. The curling club is in our local rec centre, but recently the club became privately managed and so we now have the luxury of being able to take the kids up to the viewing lounge above the ice, where we can sit in comfort, fireplace crackling, watch the game, visit with the rest of the curling gang, the kids drink hot chocolate and I can enjoy a beer. We used to have to sit down below on a hard bench by ourselves because the liquor law prohibited the kids from being able to sit upstairs with the civilized people. Anyway, that went well, and they won the game, came briefly upstairs to join us before heading back down to start the men's final. We watched for awhile till the natives got too restless, then said our goodbyes and good lucks and went home. A little while later Mike returned home too, triumphant in his win and bearing sushi for dinner, yeah! And a good time was had by all. Really. It was a good night, other than of course being joined by Kate at bedtime - she slept on her little mattress on the floor by my bed that I keep handy for her. So a good start to SB (spring break), and the weather man is calling for sun all week, could it be possible?

luck of the Irish

Yeah, St. Patrick's Day to the rescue!!! After the previous days fairly desperate mood, Thursday went swimmingly. Because it was St. Patrick's day, and I totally underestimated the power of their little or should I say great big imaginations. After spending the day at school apparently talking about nothing other than leprechauns and the mischief they get up to, including having each of their classrooms somewhat ransacked by said leprechauns while they were out at recess - they knew it was leprechauns because of the tiny bits of gold and the tiny sparkly shamrocks that were left scattered about - the kids arrived home to my house totally united in their goal to do just one thing - catch a leprechaun. So all five girls proceeded to spend the next couple hours outside building traps. I had to poke holes in old coffee cans, help dig holes, and scout around for other various items that might prove useful in luring the little men into their clutches. When the rain started to finally come down too hard, they gave their traps one last check and then with systems a go, they came inside. At this point I got a little anxious, thinking that maybe now I might have to deal with breaking up some family feuding, but they were so psyched out by the whole leprechaun thing that they were afraid to go play in the basement playroom where they usually go. Instead, they stayed close by me, and asked if they could all just work on some crafts in their "dressing room", where they could hear me in the kitchen I guess. Normally of course they don't want me close enough to actually hear everything they say, but I guess the magic of the day inspired a little neediness in them that I didn't mind at all. So the rest of the afternoon passed without any incidents between the kids, hooray! Unfortunately the next magical creature type of day doesn't come until Easter, so I think I will have to just come up with some of my own for the next couple weeks of Spring Break, on the days when I have a houseful of girls on the verge of playing odd man out with somebody. Something like the little known toilet paper fairy - watch out, just when you're sure you have lots, and right when you really need some, suddenly it all disappears. And there's no one around to hear your cries for help...Or the knot fairy, you know, the one who messes up your hair at night while you sleep, causing your mother to have to spend an excruciating amount of time trying to get the knots out of your hair. Bet we could spend some time building, setting, and monitoring some traps for those wicked little creatures.
It's good to have a game plan. :)

odd man out

Why oh why can't they all just get along? Why does there always have to be an odd man out? It's so survival of the fittest - don't show any signs of weakness or you're a goner. My spidey senses have been on high alert for a few weeks now - Kate won't sleep in her room again being the glaring sign that something is wrong. Then other signs, like comments about how she hopes it will rain so they can stay inside at lunchtime. When I ask about that, Kate just says that it's more fun to stay inside with the teacher. Hmmm. And then the weekly battle with her cousin continues. And then yesterday she showed up in the office at lunch recess to say she had a stomach ache, and was lying down when I arrived. And when I asked her what was wrong, she wouldn't talk to me. No words at all. A nod of the head or a shake was all I could get out of her. Back at home I coaxed more out of her - and it seems that she spends most outdoor recesses alone, because whenever she tries to play with someone, another child comes along and scoops up her friend, leaving her alone. She gave me specific examples, how one child in a grade above her called her stupid and took off with the girl she had asked to play with, how another child won't let her sit beside another girl in class, and worst of all, that something had occurred between her and her sister Emily and her cousin. But she wouldn't tell me exactly what. So after school when I had my girls plus my nieces I kept an eye on things, and sure enough, witnessed Kate being shut down by one of my nieces. So I had to have a conversation about how we speak to each other, and how we treat each other, and how we never leave someone out especially if they've asked to join a game. I was talking in generalities, not pointing a finger at anyone at all, but suddenly my niece burst out that she had said "no" to playing with Kate at school that day because she didn't feel like playing with her when she asked, and that's why they had run away from her. I asked who was "they" and she and Emily looked at each other, and Emily said "me". So then I had the that's not acceptable conversation, and the I'm disappointed in you guys conversation, and the how would you feel conversation. Again trying to direct it to the room, not only to the two girls.
Anyway, apologies were given without my having to suggest it, and accepted, and the dust settled for the time being. This is really hard though. I mean, bad enough when you realize that one of your kids is having trouble with other kids, trouble making friends etc, but far worse when her own family is involved. Not to mention much trickier for me to deal with. Don't want to hurt feelings, or point fingers or anything.
Had another chat with just my girls this morning on the subject of family and sisters and sticking together when they're out in the world, not letting anyone hurt one of their sisters, not ever taking sides against a sister. Oh the irony. I hear the words coming out of my mouth and can't help but think of my own sister and I, and what a mess our own sibling relationship is. However, all I can do is attempt to do better with my girls, teach them to do better with each other.
Anyway, got through the morning, got them to school, and had a few minutes with their teacher to bring her up to speed on the dynamic between the kids at the moment. And headed home, crossing my fingers that today is a better day, and trying to figure out what I am going to do with all five girls again after school today - because it's early dismissal, which tacks on an extra hour for mayhem to ensue. Whatever I come up with it will involve keeping them so busy they won't have time to get into any monkey business, at least not today, not on my watch!

time change

It's really amazing how one hour can make such a difference. You wouldn't think it could. But everywhere I go, everyone I talk to the past couple of days is commenting on how hard it is to wake up and get going since we set our clocks forward Saturday night. The girls definitely haven't adjusted, and are noticing the change for sure. They can't fall asleep at night, and they can't wake up in the morning. Of course in Kate's case her entire circadian rhythm is out of whack, she just can't sleep at all, until about 6 am, and then of course she is dead to the world an hour or so later when she needs to be getting ready for school. Which means she is in ultra sensitive mode the rest of the day - keeping it together at school so far, but falling apart the moment she gets home, and battling her temper for the rest of evening. Sleep. It's like a miracle drug. Get a good sleep and all seems right with the world, you feel like you're ready for anything, you have ENERGY. Lack of sleep, especially a chronic lack of sleep, well, all your coping skills fly out the window, and life is pretty much a disaster. I'm not really sure I get the whole point of setting our clocks forward, setting them back again. Is it worth messing with our internal body clocks? Really? I'm sure the ancients didn't walk around every spring and fall saying "oh I know the sun dial says 8 o'clock but it's really 7 o'clock, don't forget!" At least as far as I know they didn't. Is it one of those things that we just go along with now, without questioning it's origins? Or it's current value and purpose? All I know is that in my house, everyone is messed up, everyone is tired, at night, no one can fall asleep, and in the morning no one can wake up. I know, I know, we'll adjust. People do. Our body clocks will gradually reset themselves, and we'll get to enjoy a little extra daylight at the end of the day. Which we would regardless, since the days are getting longer at this time of the year anyway - we are already getting more and more sunlight. Hence my questioning the purpose of this clock changing. Oh well. For now that's how it is, and we will all just have to bear with each other until our inner clocks reset themselves and we can get the right amount of precious sleep we need again. Thank god for coffee.

Emily day

I try to spend a day with each of my girls on their own, just me and them, whenever I can fit it in. Today was Emily's turn. As with the previous days I had spent with Elizabeth and Kate, it turned out to be a rainy not so nice to be outside day today. Which fit perfectly with our plans. After a late breakfast we got ourselves organized and made our getaway from the rest of the fam. First stop - movie theatre to pick up tickets to Rango. Check. Then with about 45 minutes to spare, we headed next door to Starbucks to grab a latte for me, and a" lemon poppyseed loaf "slice for Em - she has just recently started to really read and it still throws me off when I ask her what she wants and she reads off the signs batta bang  - I'm used to having to interpret. Then off to browse through the attached bookstore, which is doubly fun to visit as I used to manage it and so always someone there to have a social visit with. Or sometimes several someones, I used to be in charge and now I'm just a bad influence! Then off to pick up our popcorn and see the movie. Which was totally hilarious, amazing animation, great story, and of course the wonderful Johnny Depp shining through every minute of the film. The humor was often quick and subtle, perfect for adult and children like Em, who have an inborn comedy meter that helps them just get stuff that their contemporaries might not understand, let alone find funny. Back out into the rain afterwards, and agreed to attempt to go dress shopping for a wedding we are all going to in May for one of my dearest friends. The whole family is invited to the ceremony and reception, the girls first wedding, and they are so excited. Almost as much as me!!! The bride to be has asked her guests to wear spring colors so this is what we are in search of. Now, for a couple of 7 year olds and an 8 year old, this is pretty reasonable. But me? The eternal wearer of black??? It's going to be a challenge I figure. However, the stars must be aligned correctly because in no time Em is ooohhhing and aahhhing over a pretty blue and green sparkly dress. Then she finds one for her sister Elizabeth. Kate is more challenging, we both are fully aware of the fact that Kate likes what she likes, and nothing else. Finally Em finds a pretty rose coloured polka dot dress that we think will be just right. Then off to the ladies section where I see very little other than shades of black...then I spot a dusty red and black print dress, very nice, very fitted in all the right places, could be just the thing. So off to the change room we go, and miracle of miracles, my dress couldn't fit any better, and so does hers. We are almost skipping to the check out. As we exit I figure we have to put the cherry on the top of the perfect cake of a day we have had so far, so I tell Em we have one more stop to make before heading home. A quick car ride later, I walk her through the doors of my favorite local sushi restaurant, and she just about does cartwheels. We sit right up at the sushi bar so we can watch the stoic sushi chef create his beautiful sushi masterpieces. They are things of beauty, and we oohh and ahhhh his progress. Then it's our turn, and he hands us our orders with a wee smile and we dig in, with some hot green tea to wash them down. Em is a sushi lovers delight - she will try anything, and loves literally every kind of sushi we have ever given her. So we each tuck into our rolls and it's pretty obvious that we are both in sushi heaven. Some spicy tuna, chopped scallops, etc later, we head home. What a special day we had - can't wait till we a chance to spend one on one time like that together again!

Listen

whew, busy week. Had a lesson in the importance of listening to my kids. A couple weeks ago Emily had confided in me that she didn't like playing a certain game that the girls all play with her uncle when he comes to pick up his kids from my house after school. Basically it involved him lining them up and pretending to pick them up by their heads...I know, it sounds worse than it really is, honestly it's not that bad! Anyway, for whatever reason, it kind of freaked Em out, and so she told me she didn't want to play it anymore. I told her that of course, that was totally fine, and that she should just say no thank you next time it happened. I told my husband about it and asked if he would mention it to his brother, so that he was aware of how Em felt about it. Anyway, long story short, my husband forgot to talk to his brother, and I didn't bother to follow up with either of them, so my bad. Then at school the other day Emily and her cousin got to talking about the game, and Emily apparently said something like yeah well your dad is mean to me, and so of course her cousin got upset and defended her dad, and the next thing you know they were in a full blown fight, and my phone was ringing with the teacher calling to ask if I knew anything about the situation. Yikes. So I called my husband, he called his brother (who the teacher had also tried to reach) and his brother apologized to Emily on the phone. The whole thing made me realize how easy it could be for a child to think that the grownups in her life don't really "hear" her, or that they don't believe her or even care about her feelings or concerns. If we hadn't all sat down and talked about this, and talked to Emily and cleared it all up, she could easily think that we just blew her off, and then god forbid if something serious ever actually did happen to her, she might be afraid to tell us about it, for fear that we would not believe her or stand up for her.
Anyway, when my bro in law came to pick up his girls from my place the other evening, he was crouched down helping his youngest daughter with her shoes, and Em came up behind him, wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug. Which turned into a piggy back while he finished getting his girls ready to leave. Phew. The power of positive communication in action.

Funny bone

How do we get to be funny? I mean, how come some people just have that natural sense of comedy and pull it off, and some don't? It must be genetic to some degree for sure. All my girls have a sense of humor, but it's Emily who is the true comedienne. Sometimes she is just incidentally funny, like when she rushes into the living room in the evening shrieking look at that look at that!!! and pointing out the windows. (This happened last night by the way) I jumped up to look thinking a big ship must be cruising past on the river - when this happens it literally fills the view from the windows and it's pretty cool to watch) but no, I can't see anything unusual. So I say, what is it Em? and she smiles and says look at that beautiful patch of sky mom, between the clouds, it's such a pretty dark blue...! Which makes me laugh and makes me smile, because that's just such an Emily thing to say. Then there are the other times when she is funny on purpose, like yesterday when I was trying to have a talk with her because she was on the verge of pouting about putting some of her stuff away, and I got all serious and went on with what I was doing, expecting her to start to fuss some more, and I hear her say "mom....." and so I say "yes Em...?" still not looking at her, and then I hear Mr. T's voice say "Don't make me mad!!! Grrrr!!" and Em burst out laughing as she skipped away to clean up her things. (The girls have recently been introduced to the A team and in particular Mr. T and some of his more witty sayings) Or the time she got us all to line up and watch her to some "tricks" on the jungle gym, and at the end she finishes big by flipping upside to hang from the monkey bars, yells "ta da!!" and then her dress falls upside down over her head to reveal that she is totally naked underneath, while she laughs her head off at her joke, and of course we all laugh like crazy too, because it WAS funny, I mean, she was this skinny little 5 year old, and it was so unexpected! Or when we're watching the Oscars, and one of the nominated songs is being seriously belted out and suddenly Em comes sweeping into the room with her arms held out, lip synching like a pro, hamming it up big time, doing a little tap dance at the end. Even when she was a baby, she cracked us all up - she had this great laugh, not what you'd expect to hear coming from a baby, deep and slow, kind of a big HAR HAR HAR laugh and when she got really going it was so infectious, we'd all just get laughing with her. Did she get her first taste then of the power to make people laugh? How do some people just have a knack for making other people laugh? Em definitely sees the humor in everything around her, and I'm sure it's also a way for her to deal with awkward moments, things like that. I think truly funny people are those who have that ability to laugh at themselves, to poke fun of themselves, to not take themselves too seriously. I don't know. Whatever it is, I'm glad Em has it, because it's got to be good thing, right? And it is pretty intoxicating to make other people smile too.  Bottom line, I think she just likes a good laugh herself, and I'm totally with her on that. So laugh on baby!

no such luck

well, this is mostly an update to yesterday's post. When I last wrote, I had just dragged Kate off to school, risking the possibility that she might actually be sick still but I was still willing to give school a shot. By about 10:30 am no one had called yet to tell me that she was actually really sick and that I needed to come pick her up, so I figured I was home free and took off to get some errands done - grocery shop, etc etc that I hadn't been able to do so far this week with Kate home sick.  I was having a lovely mindless browse through the aisles when my cell phone rang, oh CRAP. It turned out to be Mike, my husband, to let me know that the school had called him, oh CRAP. He said they had told him they had tried my cell but it was the wrong number...oh crap. Anyway, he said not to worry, but you DO need to go and pick up Em...EMILY??? Yes, Emily. Not Kate. Because now Emily was throwing up. So I abandoned my shopping and went and picked up Em from school. And in typical fashion, after she gave me a hug and we got going home, she started to laugh and describe in gory detail the substance and colour of her vomit and speculate on what she had eaten that had caused it to look like it had, and so on. She cracks me up, even when she's sick. So I guess that confirms that Kate did have the flu, and now I just have to wait and see if it hits the rest of over the next couple days. I have just one question at this point - when is the cold and flu season going to END already?????

Sick???

It was one of those mornings when I am glad that my neighbors homes are not super close to mine, and I also find myself hoping that they are hard of hearing. This is so they cannot see or hear me as I drag my screeching offspring out of the house, into the van and off to school. At this point, I do not honestly know if Kate is genuinely just sick, or was sick but now is technically healthy except that she is worrying herself into a state resembling sick again. After seeming pretty fine all day and evening yesterday, and after passing a pretty normal night (for Kate that means that she did go to bed without too much protest, but appeared by my side sometime in the night and slept beside me on a mattress that I set up for her yesterday on the floor - the being puked upon incident from a couple days is still burned in my brain, and so I felt the need to supply her with a separate sleeping area just in case) Kate got up this morning and started THINKING. By thinking I mean the wheels in her mind started turning and she started mentally reviewing her days options. She announced that she wanted to go to school because today is "buddy day" meaning they spend time with their grade 6 counterparts, which she enjoys I guess. But moments later she reappeared wailing that she had no pants to wear...which I took as a good sign, at least in terms of her physical health, because the nothing to wear ploy is a fairly regular routine and usually she gets over it quickly. Which she did. But then her orange juice tasted funny. And her crumpet was soggy (well it was, I think they had freezer burn and just wouldn't toast properly, but I had run out of bread and an old pack of crumpets was all I come with from the freezer on short notice). And breakfast after that just fell apart. Then of course her stomach hurt again - well, maybe it did, but was it due to the last traces of the flu, or was it because she was totally stressing herself out about going back to school? I may never know the answer to that...regardless, I made a command decision that she was going to school if it killed me, and resolved to ignore the tears and the wailing and the screaming, threw some food in her lunch bag, dragged a brush through her hair, shoved shoes on her feet, packed her into the van and took her to school. Her poor sisters by now were also stressed out, because Elizabeth really hates to be late, and Emily just hates the sounds of battle. Anyway, we made it just in time, and I walked in behind the girls to give Kate and Em's teacher a heads up, and she took over from that point, prying Kate off of me and steering her off to the classroom, still sobbing. I know she will do everything in her power to keep Kate at school, so unless Kate actually barfs, I don't expect to hear my phone ring. If it does, and I have to go and get her, then I guess I made the meanest mommies ever top ten list for today anyway. Which kind of sucks, but I was willing to take my chances anyway.

Just sick

Well, I am pretty sure today that Kate is just sick, not worried sick. When we went to pick up one of my nieces at daycare the lady who works there told us that she was sick too, with what sounded exactly like what Kate has had. So yeah, it's just the flu. Obviously the downside to this is that now I have to face the distinct possibility that everyone else in the family is going to come down with it, booo. Guess I can't have it all. I decided to keep Kate home again today as she still doesn't seem herself yet. So my next challenge is how I am going to deal with my meetings with the alarm company and the police today. Because we were robbed the other night, and we are trying to keep the kids from knowing about it so they don't worry. Because of course they would, especially Kate. So it just figures that she's the one home sick today. I know that she's already wondering what's up, she came right out and asked me if we'd been robbed actually. I danced around the question, saying "why would you think that?" and she said she didn't know, and I told her not to worry, that everything was fine. Was that the right thing to say? I know she already has fears of someone coming in to the house and taking her away, or being robbed, so it would seem like confirmation that these scary things really can happen, validate her fears if I tell her the truth. Not to mention the other girls too, they may not verbalize things that worry them as much as Kate, but something like this would surely be upsetting for all of them. At least the theft was of items outside the house, they didn't break into our home, or the workshop or anything. But between hushed discussions between my husband and I, testing the alarms and talking about plans to beef up our alarm system, plus police coming to the house, the girls must suspect something is going on. So what to do? We probably will need to have a talk with them about it somehow, and find a way to do it so that the end result is that they feel safe, not threatened or worried. Crap. Anyway, I would work on that right now, was just informed by my husband that the alarm company people are on their way, so I must divert Kate's attention elsewhere for now, and figure this one out later. I wonder if she would think it odd if I asked her to wear earmuffs for the next half hour or so?

Worried sick

It is actually quite common for kids who have anxiety, or get easily stressed to literally worry themselves sick. They complain of headaches, stomach aches, and will actually throw up if they are distressed enough. So last night when Kate appeared as usual at my bedside just before 1am, I moved over and made room for her, expecting her to settle down and sleep the rest of the night. But she didn't. She had been teary when she arrived, which isn't unusual for her. But she didn't settle down, she kept whimpering and tossing around. I asked her a few times what was wrong, but she didn't know. And then after about half an hour of this, she sat up and projectile vomited across the bed on all of us. And then she turned and vomited all over the floor beside the bed. And all the way to the bathroom as I ran carrying her. Then of course, she stopped. Some time later, once the bed had been stripped and remade, the floor cleaned up, and Kate cleaned up, the three of us got back into bed again. When I whispered to my husband what he thought it might be, his first comment was that it was stress related, that she had worried so much about something that it had made her physically sick. And I found myself actually hoping that I had in fact poisoned us all with tainted food at dinner time, or that we were about to undergo round two of the stomach flu that everyone just had over Christmas. Because both of those seemed better options than Kate worrying herself sick.
Anyway, I spent the rest of the night listening for one of the other kids to get up, or for me or my husband to start puking, but no one did. So by morning I had to nix the possibility that it was food poisoning, darn. That leaves the flu. Kate didn't throw up again, but was restless all night (or maybe that was just me, waking her up every time she moved, thinking she was about to barf again). It's afternoon now, and at this point I am feeling pretty confident that it isn't just stress of some kind doing this to her, she seems to still genuinely feel crappy, phew. I know, sad that I am actually relieved that she is sick, but it's better that than have her worried sick, right? Now I just have to keep her from worrying that she is going to throw up again tonight...

Follow through

A friend of mine just grounded her daughter for 2 weeks. She had a project assigned a while back, and her daughter kept putting off working on it, and now it's due in 2 weeks, hence the grounding so she can get it done. Of course my friend also noted that she has just grounded herself, as she will have to stay home and follow through to make sure her daughter does indeed finish her project. Hence my comment to her, that follow through sucks. Yeah, sometimes it does. But I suppose every time I remember to follow through, it not only teaches my daughters that actions really do have consequences, but maybe something else too. Maybe the side lesson learned is that you should finish what you start. If I demonstrate that I can stick it out to the bitter end maybe it teaches my daughters follow through. It's a tricky lesson actually. I mean, there are times when you need to see something through to the end, and there are times when you have to learn when to let go and just put something away. Like when you're reading a book that someone recommended but it's just not doing it for you. I used to force myself to finish such books, but since have realized that I have better things to do with my time, and really, what is the point of finishing it, other than being able to say, yeah, I read the whole thing and it sucked right to the end. Boo. Bad use of time. And it's true, occasionally in life people start in on a project of some kind, only to realize part way along that it's just not for them. What's the point for example, of finishing a 4 year degree in a subject you no longer care about, just for the sake of finishing? What would that get you? A load of debt, and again, wasted time. Same could said for a child who tries out a sport that they just don't enjoy, but continue to be expected to play season after season. What's the harm in letting them try something else, assuming that a fair amount of time and effort has been made in determining whether said sport is really for them? No harm as far as I can see, in fact it would be a shame to have them miss out on participating in something different that they might really like and excel at. Okay.
But school work is school work, it's one of those non negotiables in life. My daughter Kate recently procrastinated finishing some homework over the weekend, and was fairly horrified when I told her Monday that she would have to explain to her teacher why her work wasn't done. I even pulled her teacher aside and gave her a heads up about it. Which was a good thing, since when she asked Kate why her work wasn't done, Kate tried to tell her that her mom wouldn't let her finish it...wrong answer! So she had to miss out on extra play time and do her work instead. And in the end it all turned well, she did get it done, and then was picked to go and read the story she had written to the principal with a couple of the other kids, for a job well done.
Anyway, I'm sure there will many more opportunities to come for me to practice my follow through techniques with the girls. It's painful at times, but worth it!