Listen

whew, busy week. Had a lesson in the importance of listening to my kids. A couple weeks ago Emily had confided in me that she didn't like playing a certain game that the girls all play with her uncle when he comes to pick up his kids from my house after school. Basically it involved him lining them up and pretending to pick them up by their heads...I know, it sounds worse than it really is, honestly it's not that bad! Anyway, for whatever reason, it kind of freaked Em out, and so she told me she didn't want to play it anymore. I told her that of course, that was totally fine, and that she should just say no thank you next time it happened. I told my husband about it and asked if he would mention it to his brother, so that he was aware of how Em felt about it. Anyway, long story short, my husband forgot to talk to his brother, and I didn't bother to follow up with either of them, so my bad. Then at school the other day Emily and her cousin got to talking about the game, and Emily apparently said something like yeah well your dad is mean to me, and so of course her cousin got upset and defended her dad, and the next thing you know they were in a full blown fight, and my phone was ringing with the teacher calling to ask if I knew anything about the situation. Yikes. So I called my husband, he called his brother (who the teacher had also tried to reach) and his brother apologized to Emily on the phone. The whole thing made me realize how easy it could be for a child to think that the grownups in her life don't really "hear" her, or that they don't believe her or even care about her feelings or concerns. If we hadn't all sat down and talked about this, and talked to Emily and cleared it all up, she could easily think that we just blew her off, and then god forbid if something serious ever actually did happen to her, she might be afraid to tell us about it, for fear that we would not believe her or stand up for her.
Anyway, when my bro in law came to pick up his girls from my place the other evening, he was crouched down helping his youngest daughter with her shoes, and Em came up behind him, wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug. Which turned into a piggy back while he finished getting his girls ready to leave. Phew. The power of positive communication in action.